{"id":55271,"date":"2020-12-06T00:09:14","date_gmt":"2020-12-06T06:09:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/?p=55271"},"modified":"2020-12-06T00:09:14","modified_gmt":"2020-12-06T06:09:14","slug":"iris-moulton-utah-original-writing-creative-nonfiction-winner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/iris-moulton-utah-original-writing-creative-nonfiction-winner\/","title":{"rendered":"Iris Moulton: Utah Original Writing Creative Nonfiction Winner"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

READ LOCAL First: This is Utah\u2019s\u00a0most comprehensive collection of poets and authors. For the month of December, 2020, we present creative nonfiction by Utah Original Writing Competition winner Iris Moulton.<\/p>\n

The excerpt here is from Moulton’s creative nonfiction book-length manuscript, Non.\u00a0<\/em>Tessa Fontaine judged her winning entry.<\/p>\n

Moulton lives in Salt Lake City. Among other publications, her work has appeared in\u00a0Gigantic<\/em>,\u00a0American Short Fiction, Western Humanities Review,\u00a0<\/em>and The Center For Fiction’s\u00a0Literarian.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

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Bravery<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 All the mothers wore one color cardigan with the same color shirt under it. Sweater set<\/em> said my mother the same way I said asparagus<\/em>.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 All the mothers had their hair cupped under and something sparkly on their eyes. All the mothers had the same mouth so pink that looked like it turned into a fruit at night.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What I said was, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you look like the other mothers,\u201d but what I really meant was maybe you\u2019re not a real mother.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After I had finished crying we laid out what I might want to wear to the party.<\/h4>\n

\u201cDo you know what the other kids are wearing?\u201d<\/h4>\n

I lied and said no. I wished I was but I was not brave enough to wear that itchy sweater vest for long.<\/h4>\n

Let\u2019s Leave One Person Out<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Just like she reminded me to right before I slammed the car door I remembered to say Thank you Syla for inviting me<\/em> and Thank you Mrs. Young for inviting me<\/em> but I did not say You have a lovely home<\/em>. My mother said that at a funeral one time and it sounded like a funeral, like something you say instead of.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Syla said, \u201cOh, you came.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Syla and I were face to face but she was smaller. Her lips were dry. She had little white tags all over her lips. Like I could take one between my fingers and peel her mouth off into a new mouth.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 First we drew pictures of our own faces and then some grown up ladies punched strings into them and we wore our own face like a mask. Everyone laughed the same at everyone else and then they said \u201cTrade faces!\u201d And then they said \u201cTrade Faces!\u201d And then they said \u201cStop! Whose face do you have?\u201d And we had to guess. My face had red hair but still I wanted to say it was Syla\u2019s face, just to get to say her name, but more so I wanted to be right so I said Erica and I got a plastic statue of a horse.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then they said \u201cLet\u2019s make a circle of enough chairs only let\u2019s leave one person out.\u201d At the scratch of the needle I threw Erica hard with my hips and sat down and everyone clapped except Erica.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Then they said, \u201cLet\u2019s pin the tail on the donkey!\u201d The donkey had a tipped red heart for a mouth, wanting a kiss not a tail. Soon I was blindfolded but it didn\u2019t really feel all that different. I thought to myself Okay concentrate. You can walk forward and pin it the exact same as everyone else can.<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly everyone else was saying Oh oh oh and laughing. I peeled off the blindfold and one of the ladies was rubbing hard at a tiny hole I made in the door saying, \u201cThat is just fine, dear, these things happen.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One by one the grown-up ladies asked me Now what is your name<\/em>, but they didn\u2019t ask anyone else. One of them asked me which steak I was in and I didn\u2019t say anything but I thought of cloth napkins and knives, and then the lady said, No, <\/em>stake. I mean, church.<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The cake was on a big plate, not in a box. We ate it in a room filled with balloons that nudged up against each other with the crossing or kicking of our legs, like they were telling secret jokes.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Even though we were still eating cake the ladies said, \u201cAlright let\u2019s play a fun game.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0Syla came to the front and smiled with a lady\u2019s two hands on her shoulders and another whispering in her ear. Then Syla pulled up her foot and stomped out a yellow balloon. We held our ears and screamed.\u00a0 Syla reached down and picked up a piece of paper.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt says Do a funny dance<\/em>,\u201d she said.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And then she poked out her tongue and let her elbows flap and everybody clapped.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOkay, who\u2019s next?\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And Erica went up and chose a green balloon, and everyone was covering their ears even before she smashed it and we all screamed and I looked at the grown up ladies to hint maybe this wasn\u2019t such a good idea but they were screaming too and smiling.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt says Who is your best friend<\/em>.\u201d Erica looked around the room and then she said, \u201cMy mom.\u201d And everyone clapped especially the ladies.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou,\u201d said a grown-up lady even though she had already asked my name and I could tell she had even nudged another grown up lady when she thought I wasn\u2019t looking to ask her what my name was.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 At the front everyone was staring at me and I was thinking Okay just choose a balloon the same as everyone did, don\u2019t even think about it, <\/em>so that when I wanted to choose the red balloon I chose the yellow one just left of it at the last second like I didn\u2019t want anything at all. And I brought my foot down but it rolled a little and made a sad noise and nothing happened so I did it again faster and it popped.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I picked up the little piece of paper and could see now that it was decorated with tiny pink paper flowers and smiley faces and hearts.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt says Sing your favorite song from primary<\/em>,\u201d I said.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Everyone nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s a good one,\u201d someone said.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I read it again to myself sing your favorite song from primary<\/em> and then I read it out loud but tried to push a question against it: \u201cSing your favorite song from primary?\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Everyone nodded.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I waited as long as I could before I had to say: \u201cI don\u2019t know what that is.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes you do!\u201d called the ladies. \u201cPrimary.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI guess it\u2019s that I don\u2019t know what that<\/em> is.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s when you go to church and you\u2019re in the kid room,\u201d said Syla.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Everyone nodded except for the ladies whose mouths were quick melting Os.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The lady who didn\u2019t know my name walked on her knees to my side even though I was still taller than her by the time she got to me so it would have made as much sense to walk normal.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s help her. We can all help!\u201d she said. And she moved her hands like everyone was about to pick up saxophones from under their chairs and start blowing.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am a child of God,\u201d <\/em>the woman sang, swirling the girls\u2019 voices to us with her hands.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd he has sent me here,\u201d <\/em>the woman swirled her hands at my face.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHas given me an earthly home\u2014\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>\u201cJoin in honey,\u201d she whispered into my ear.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWith parents kind and dear.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am a child of God\u2014\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>The woman shook her hands at the room.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou try. Sing I am a child of God. Just try it.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI am a child of God,\u201d I said because I\u2019d already forgotten the music part.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd he has sent me here,\u201d she said.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd he has sent me here,\u201d I said.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood enough,\u201d and she walked back on her knees to the other grown up ladies.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, everyone,\u201d said one of the ladies. \u201cWhat does that song mean?\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She turned to me. \u201cWhat do you think that song means?\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I thought to myself Okay just think really hard about it. Don\u2019t think about turning off the lights when you leave a room.<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell,\u201d I said. \u201cJesus was God\u2019s son.\u201d<\/h4>\n

Everyone nodded. Yes!<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u201cThey didn\u2019t live together, though. And. Um.\u201d<\/h4>\n

The woman\u2019s mouth became a small raspberry.<\/h4>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s turn is it?\u201d she asked and I sat down.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Back at home my mother was standing on her head.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHow did it go?\u201d she asked, her smiling mouth the deepest frown I\u2019d ever seen. \u201cDid you remember to say you have a lovely home<\/em>?\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d I said.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She slowly lowered her knees and stayed bowed to the Abundance corner of our house.<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDo you want to come do shavasana with me?\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And we laid on our backs and pushed all the air out of our mouths and pulled our livers into our spines thinking of nothing at all and at the very last second she picked up my hand and squeezed it and that meant it was all over and it was time to get up.<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

READ LOCAL First: This is Utah\u2019s\u00a0most comprehensive collection of poets and authors. For the month of December, 2020, we present creative nonfiction by Utah Original Writing Competition winner Iris Moulton. The excerpt here is from Moulton’s creative nonfiction book-length manuscript, Non.\u00a0Tessa Fontaine judged her winning entry. Moulton lives […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1566,"featured_media":55272,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_piecal_is_event":false,"_piecal_start_date":"","_piecal_end_date":"","_piecal_is_allday":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,35,2513],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-15-bytes","category-literary-arts","category-read-local-first"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/15bytesnonfiction.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-05-08 12:26:03","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1566"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55271"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55274,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55271\/revisions\/55274"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/55272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artistsofutah.org\/15Bytes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}